BBC Newsbeat<\/span><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n With her new album going straight to number one in the UK, it’s difficult to imagine that just two years ago Lorde was thinking about never making music again.<\/p>\n “At the beginning of 2023 I was not in a great way on a lot of levels,” the singer says.<\/p>\n “I’d never felt more disconnected from my creativity.”<\/p>\n Speaking to Radio 1’s Jack Saunders<\/a>, Lorde, real name Ella Marija Lani Yelich-O’Connor, says an eating disorder took over her life.<\/p>\n “All I was thinking about was trying to weigh as little as possible,” she says.<\/p>\n “Going to sleep thinking about food, waking up thinking about food and exercise – that was my creative pursuit.”<\/p>\n But after a period of recovery, she says, her creativity came flooding back.<\/p>\n Virgin, which the New Zealander released on 27 June, is Lorde’s fourth album and her most personal to date. <\/p>\n “It was hard, it was scary,” she says about writing it. “Some songs aren’t easy.”<\/p>\n “I made a lot of changes and really put my artistry front and centre and made that my full-time job and I got a lot of stuff out of the way.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n Lorde debuted the album with a surprise set at Glastonbury<\/a> on the day of its release.<\/p>\n “I hadn’t been on a stage on my own like that for years,” she says, adding that she was “a bag of dust” after her appearance.<\/p>\n The Green Light singer previously told Radio 1<\/a> how her collab with Charli XCX last year had encouraged her to be more vulnerable in her music. <\/p>\n As well as eating and body image, Virgin tackles her relationship with her mum, the end of a long-term relationship and gender identity.<\/p>\n “These subjects are not the easiest to shoehorn into a three-and-a-half minute song,” says Lorde.<\/p>\n “The cool challenge about pop songs is you don’t have time to faff \u2013 you’ve got to cut out all but the strongest nuggets of a story.<\/p>\n “You’re just forced to go no filler.<\/p>\n “Some songs I had to keep rewriting to be brave enough to say it.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n On exploring her gender identity, Lorde says she felt “so trapped and so tight in this very kind of straight-ahead femininity.”<\/p>\n Her journey “started pretty basic,” she says, “just realising I can’t just have women’s clothes on a photo shoot \u2013 I need everything so I can choose”.<\/p>\n “Because some days that will feel so tight and I’ll feel so trapped. <\/p>\n “The same with my make-up. I say to people now just treat it like male grooming \u2013 don’t overcook it.<\/p>\n “Because the same thing happens, I get all stuck and tight and I can’t express myself.”<\/p>\n Lorde previously said her Met Gala look – inspired by a cummerbund, or waistband, traditionally worn by men – was a hint to where she was “gender-wise”.<\/p>\n While she hasn’t “landed anywhere” in terms of defining her gender identity, exploring it “has really, really, changed things,” she says.<\/p>\n “I feel a lot more expansive, a lot bigger and my definition of what’s beautiful is really different now.<\/p>\n “I think it will just keep unfurling and I’m down for that.”<\/p>\n If you have been affected by the issues raised in this article, help and support is available <\/b><\/i>via BBC Action Line. <\/b><\/i><\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>\n![\"Getty](\"https:\/\/ichef.bbci.co.uk\/news\/480\/cpsprodpb\/26d9\/live\/a6d3fe60-5bd8-11f0-9176-c710c4836875.jpg.webp\")
Getty Images<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n‘You don’t have time to faff in pop’<\/h2>\n<\/p>\n
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Getty Images<\/span><\/div>\n<\/div>\n![\"A](\"https:\/\/ichef.bbci.co.uk\/news\/480\/cpsprodpb\/8366\/live\/74a706f0-15d7-11ef-9b12-1ba8f95c4917.jpg.webp\")
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