\n<\/p>\n
She spent her days either in the garden, doing housework, decorating, and looking through old photos of Earl and listening to his reggae music.<\/p>\n
Her sons, and friends, kept in touch with phone calls but she was unable to work Zoom and other methods that some people were able to use.<\/p>\n
“All I could think about was Earl. I kept reliving him dying, I was feeling guilty – I kept asking could I have done more, did I give it [Covid] to him?<\/p>\n
“Everybody was phoning me initially – but it does quieten down.”<\/p>\n
Her thoughts, she said, did turn to suicide.<\/p>\n
“Life seemed pointless.<\/p>\n
“I’m not on my own in that respect. I did get to a bad point but a friend reminded me about my sons, how would my sons have felt, and that sort of stopped me.<\/p>\n
“We’d been together 50 years. It would have been our ruby wedding on 30 July.<\/p>\n
“All the landmarks, birthdays and Christmas where you have to face empty chair syndrome. <\/p>\n
“Thousands of people have gone through the same, and we are all still carrying on.<\/p>\n
“People say time a is a great healer but 16 months on – its not.”<\/p>\n<\/div>\n