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Saying no can feel uncomfortable. Many of us were brought up to do as we were told, and as adults we struggle to go against how we’ve been raised.<\/p>\n
“We equate compliance with good and defiance with bad,” says Dr Sah. “Children get lots of training in compliance, but they need to receive training in defiance too.”<\/p>\n
Reshaping how we view and define saying no is key. Seeing it as a positive act instead of a negative one can be instrumental in taking greater control over decisions.<\/p>\n
“To defy is to act in accordance with your true values, especially when there is pressure to do otherwise.”<\/p>\n
When deciding whether to say yes or no, the question to ask is whether you’re going against your values.<\/p>\n
These are often expressed as single, powerful words like integrity, compassion, or equality. But we may struggle to enact them in daily life.<\/p>\n
Establishing your values is the first step towards upholding them. “If we write them down, research shows we are more likely to act in alignment with them,” says Dr Sah.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n