\n<\/p>\n
For Lizzy, relationships always seemed to end the same way. “I would get to a second or third date and find something wrong with them.” <\/b><\/p>\n
Just as things began to feel real, the connection she longed for would suddenly feel uncomfortable, even threatening. And she would pull away.<\/p>\n
For years, she couldn’t explain why – until she came across attachment theory.<\/p>\n
And it was the description of a so-called fearful-avoidant – one of the four attachment styles – which felt strikingly familiar.<\/p>\n
It describes someone who wants closeness, but worries that people in their life will eventually reject or abandon them.<\/p>\n
“It was like I had found the missing piece to a puzzle that I’ve been trying to solve for years,” Lizzy says.<\/p>\n
She is not alone. Attachment theory has exploded into the public consciousness.<\/p>\n
On TikTok, videos tagged #AttachmentTheory have racked up hundreds of millions of views.<\/p>\n
And in popular culture it’s used to explain everything from Marianne and Connell’s relationship in the hit book and TV series Normal People<\/a> to the lyrics of Sam Fender and Olivia Dean’s record-breaking number one track Rein Me In<\/a>.<\/p>\n “The first time I listened to it I started crying,” Lizzy says.<\/p>\n For her, the song gave voice to both sides of avoidant attachment: the fear that can make love feel unbearable, and the confusion felt by the partner left behind.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n